Episode XXIII

Thump. Thump.

Dennis deduced that the car was traveling over a series of potholes. Ah ha, he concluded, at least he knew that they were still within Mammoth City. The freeway was sure to have traffic and anyway it was well maintained. The gangs certainly didn’t disturb maintenance crews as they liked well-paved roads for their illegal racing. They were even known to slip bribes to maintenance supervisors to make sure work crews completed work on-time or even ahead of time.

It was frustrating though that none of the men were thinking about anything particular, making it impossible for Dennis to employ his singular talent and telepathically eavesdrop. However, at least now he was able to think clearly. Before the trip had started he had been barely able to think his own name, let alone think of escaping. However a couple hours of hard driving, trapped in a trunk, was liable to clear anybody's mind.

* * *

Everything had been going well for Dennis lately. He wasn’t sure if he believed in luck, but if he did then all of his was good and he hoped that it would never stop coming. Though still in the hospital his grandfather was doing quite well. Just the day before his grandfather had been flirting with the nurses, much to the discomfort of Dennis’s grandmother who had sharply scolded him. However, Dennis had seen them together for years and knew that if she was up to scolding him then she was no longer worried sick about his recovery.

When he left the hospital Dennis had literally run into Professor Pettigrew as the older man abruptly stopped in the door out of the lobby.

“Oh, sir, I didn’t see you!” he quickly apologized.

“What? Oh, no harm Dennis. No harm,” the professor mumbled as he made to turn away, then abruptly turned back towards his assistant. “What brings you to the hospital?”

“My grandfather, he had a heart attack a while ago. He is recovering though.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Why don’t you take a couple days off work, I’m sure you’re exhausted trying to keep up with homework, visiting the hospital, and grading.”

“Oh no sir, I’ll be fine,” Dennis weakly protested.

“Nonsense,” Pettigrew insisted.

“Very well, sir.” Dennis replied, actually quite relieved. “I will see you in two days then.”

“And not a moment sooner,” the professor reminded him. “If I need you I’ll just give you a call on the—I’ll just give you a call.”

Feeling much better Dennis strode towards his beat up car, abruptly deciding that he would sleep in the following morning and then head to the zoo. Of course the professor didn’t know about all of the other activities that Dennis had been engaging in, which above and beyond the hospital visits and other work were causing him the most loss of sleep.

Ever since Dennis had discovered his strange mental powers he had struggled with a way to employ them—he had even confided in his girlfriend Carry. While she hadn’t believed him at first he had soon dispelled Carry’s doubts by reading her thoughts. Though shocked she had recovered and had tried to help Dennis figure out what to do with his newfound powers. Reluctant to encourage Dennis to put himself in harm's way Carry nonetheless realized that he could at last put aside his frustration. No longer would Dennis have to sit aside and fume over the state of crime in Mammoth City; he could make a difference!

Knowing something of Mammoth City’s gangs from her years of growing up in the inner city, Carry suggested that Dennis spend his days off traveling the city’s bus lines, trying to overhear youngsters plotting. He had been doing this for a couple weeks and had even managed to tip off the police to several attempted gang robberies and other nefarious deeds. The one thing Carry hadn’t been able to help Dennis out with was the choosing of an appropriate name. He hadn’t liked the idea of Thoughtman or Mentalman, let alone any of her other less coherent suggestions.

* * *

Dennis awoke and as he stretched his arms above his head he was quite pleased to note that it was nearly eleven. He had quite successfully managed to sleep in and with no classes today he was free. Free to hunt down evildoers! A large grin spread across the young student’s face as he rose and padded over to his bathroom. Today felt like a good day to go to the zoo. He had overheard several gang members thinking about meeting at the zoo so he felt reasonably confident that he would be able to stop some illegal behavior while enjoying watching the animals. In fact the zoo even had Indian tigers that he was definitely excited about seeing.

* * *

Though he had enjoyed petting the dolphins, Dennis hadn’t enjoyed the drenching he received as he was walking away from the sea mammal’s tank. He was therefore quite distracted as he walked into the North American section of the zoo and it was with a shock that he found himself looking at two grizzlies. There weren’t many people in this section and Dennis thought that gang members would probably not want to be seen hanging out near these large animals. However, to his great surprise he did indeed see several suspicious figures clustered in front of the white-tailed deer and realized that he had almost walked right into them.

Disgusted with himself for not paying attention Dennis promptly turned around and started walking towards where he thought the tiger enclosure was located, figuring that if he could eventually circle around he could effectively spy on the gang members. However once he set out he found himself once again lost in thought. Only when he heard the howl of nearby Mexican wolves did Dennis realize his mistake. He fell to the ground, paralyzed as he always was by the sound of wolves. He hadn't been this way his whole life, but then he hadn't heard a wolf howl until the exhibit had opened at the zoo earlier in the summer, so he couldn't really be sure--he just thought this sort of thing didn't happen to normal people. Dennis hoped against hope that the gang members wouldn’t see him. This vain hope was soon dashed as the would-be hero found himself picked up and thrown into a nearby trash can. Unsurprisingly nobody objected to the young punks wheeling a trash can out of the zoo; in fact the security guards counted it fortunate that the gang members hadn’t decided to do anything more destructive than steal a wheeled garbage receptacle.

After securely fastening Dennis’s wrists and ankles together with a pair of handcuffs the young men threw him in the back of a van and drove to their headquarters, a large warehouse in the south-west section of the city. While Dennis was unceremoniously tossed into a long abandoned office the gang members all trooped out onto the factory floor where they were meeting with someone. Rolling around, Dennis managed to peer out of a crack in the office wall and see a man in a long black cloak that covered his body and cloaked his face in shadow. Unfortunately Dennis found that he couldn't use his mental powers; the group was simply too far away.

One of the gang members peered through the shadows and suddenly seemed to recognize the man. However before he could speak the man motioned the gang member to silence and announced in a mechanically distorted voice that he needed them to help him pick a name. His true identity was too valuable to risk, he explained, and he needed a name he could use with these, his valued henchmen.

The man who had been about to speak a moment earlier started to laugh. “Why does a te—” he began to derisively query when the cloaked man raised his hand and muttered. Immediately lighting sprang from his hand and in a scene reminiscent of Star Wars struck the offending gang member causing him to flop around. After being hit with several more blasts the man finally stopped screaming and lay on the floor dead. All of the other men started crying.

One red-headed gangster nervously laughed and asked “Why not Darth Phone?”

“Hmm…” the cloaked figure appeared to consider this—then he noticed the gang members drying tears. “Wait, why are you, hardened criminals, crying? Did I cause this too?” After a thoughtful pause he exclaimed triumphantly in his rasping voice, “I have it! From this moment forward I shall be known as Darth Onion!”

If he hadn’t been afraid for his life Dennis would have been sorely tempted to laugh at this serious sounding proclamation. Darth Onion? He had never heard of anything so ridiculous! He almost missed the moment that the henchmen began to explain their easy capture of Dennis, however he couldn’t miss the gasp from Darth Onion. “You idiots!” he exclaimed. Then lowering his voice the mastermind gestured towards Dennis and began speaking quite softly, so softly that try as he might Dennis couldn’t overhear much. “…take him…dispose…woods…lesson…”

Two of the gang members soon sauntered over to Dennis, wrenched open the office door and bludgeoned him into near-unconsciousness with the chains decorating their clothes. Then, somehow, they produced a rag smelling of some high-inducing drug and doused him until he couldn't think straight.

* * *

While the car had never left Mammoth City limits the gang members had taken Dennis to the one place he hadn’t expected: Pioneer Park, on the very outskirts of the city. Once a thriving community center the park had long ago been abandoned by the law-fearing populace and even the gangs didn’t go there often.

Two young toughs hauled Dennis out of the car trunk and dragged him over to the rusted slides. Once he had been securely fastened to the tottering structure all five of the gang members proceeded to beat Dennis, though they took care to ensure that they didn’t break any bones with their brass knuckles and baseball bats. He sensed from their roiling surface thoughts that their boss had been very clear that no bones be broken, especially in his fingers. Finally after what seemed like hours the red-headed youngster snarled at Dennis. “Let that be a lesson. Stay out of our affairs! Don’t think we haven’t seen you poking around our jobs. Stay out and keep out!” After punctuating that last statement with a sharp kick to Dennis’s aching side he strode off and jumped into the waiting car with the other gang members.

At first despairing of ever escaping Dennis finally noticed that the slide, no longer sturdy, had been severely disturbed by the gang’s violent beating. Though his muscles and bruises loudly protested Dennis managed to stand up and fall forward, breaking away from the rusted slide support. Instants after he hit the ground though he blacked out, only awakening what seemed like hours later to gingerly pry his cell phone out of his pocket and call 9-1-1.

Dennis awoke the next morning in a hospital bed at Community General, now sharing a room with his grandfather.