Superheroes and Villains: The Movie

Yeah, we skipped from soap opera to movie. Some people complained that the soap opera wasn't quite soap operaish (yes, that is a word, because I say it is!) so we've gone right to the silver screen. We cannot let you discover everything that happens at once, but I think it is time to let y'all have a sneak peak at the auditions, at least day one. It was a long process, but our faithful scribe AllonOak has recorded what transpired.

Please note that this transcription of actual events bears no resemblance to reality or to any persons living, dead, or reanimated. Please direct all slander and libel suits to the law firm of Onion, Acid, and Associates. Call or drop by, they'd love to chat with you! :-)

Auditions:

“So Black Wolff, what’s the audition schedule look like… does it look like ‘big fun’?”

“Tons of fun, Fibonacci! We’ve got… let’s see… a valley girl at 9:00… a history professor at 9:30… high school sweethearts at 10:00 and 10:30, and at 11:00 computer nerd who refers to himself as ‘Rubber Snake’…

‘Great… this is the last time we sign a contract to do all of our casting for a movie in backwoods Nebraska!!”

“umm… we’re in Wisconsin…”

“Whatever… it’s nowhere-ville! *sits down* “Ok... let’s get on with this… maybe we can save on paperwork if we file for bankruptcy ahead of time…”

******

9:00

Fibonacci: “So…uh… Marsha…”

“…the name’s Marcia”

“…Right. So, Marsha, what role do you see yourself filling in this film… I mean, what’s your goal?”

“Well, I, like, really had hoped to be a superhero, who, like, saved people from fashion disasters. Ya, and… um…, I was thinking I could, like, change outfits super super fast, and, like, uh, be able to uniquely identify all shades of color between pink and violet, and, like…”

“Wait. Wait. Wait… Just hold on a sec Marsha…”

“It’s Marcia!”

“Whatever… how do you plan to integrate this into the stated storyline of…’superheroes and villains battle for supremacy over a crime-ridden city…’ … how do you plan to do that Marsha?”

“Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! It’s always Marsha! Why can’t they see me for my real name…”

*Marcia runs out angrily*

Black Wolff and Fibonacci stare after her as she leaves…

“um… ok… put her down for villain…”

***

9:30

Fibonacci: “So, uh… Mr. Pettigrew…”

“That’s Lord Pettigrew to you, young man!”

“…right, so Pettigrew, what do you see yourself doing in this film… what’s your goal?”

“...As with all Sith lords… live… galaxy…”

“I’m sorry sir, could you please remove your apocalypse cloak, we’re having trouble hearing you…”

*still wearing cloak* “I said… ‘As with all Sith lords, I live to rule the galaxy!’”

*Black Wolff glances at Fibonacci*

“You know, I’d be laughing at this guy if I didn’t know somebody like this…”

“Oh? Who’s that?”

“well… actually… my dad…”

“ ”

“I’m sorry sir, please remove the hood from your cloak so we can hear you!”

“I said… *pushing back the hood* ‘Black Wolff, I am your father!’

*Black Wolff looks up stunned*

“Dad! That’s impossible! I saw you get on that flight to the history convention myself!”

“Well… ya… but what you didn’t realize was that it was a ‘history of Star Wars’ convention… and it was just a few miles from here…so I figured I’d just…”

“Dad, can we please talk about this later, we have auditions to do…”

*Drags Mr. Pettigrew out of the room*

***

11:00

Fibonacci (exhausted): “So… uh… Rubber Snake… what did you have in mind for this film?”

“Well... I work for a certain organization… and we’re ‘interested’ in the premise of your story. But I was thinking it needs a few… ‘modifications’ to make it more believable.”

“Right…So, what do propose we do?”

“Well, we have this really interesting piece of technology… call it… ‘the spoon’… and we were just wondering if you could test your film equipment…”

“I see, so you want us to film this… ‘spoon’”

“Well... don’t try to ‘film’ the spoon, that is impossible… only remember that…”

‘There is no spoon…”

“Well, actually it’s just invisible…”

“That’s it… I’ve had it! OUT! I’m sick of this!!”

“We’ll be in touch!”

“I need lunch…”

“Black Wolff… who do we have after lunch?”

“umm… we don’t have anyone after lunch…”

“WHAT?! That’s IT?!? Oh… we’re dead… we’re so dead… we’re bankrupt… might as well paint a big ZERO on my forehead… heck, why don’t we make me a crazy math professor and write me into the film, too, because I’m certainly not directing this circus…”