Monday, July 31, 2006

Fibbing Interview, part I

As promised I am hereby starting our regular Monday behind-the-scenes feature. This week our main feature will be part one of an interview with the project's creator, Fibonacci. No, he isn't obsessed with numbers at all, why do you ask? Well then, without further ado I present to you, (Drumroll please), our faithful readers (you are out there, right?) THE INTERVIEW!

Black Wolff: Shall we begin? Please state your name (or writing alias) for the record.
Fibonacci: Fibonacci.
Black Wolff: Upon which planet do you reside?
Fibonacci: Sol Gamma.
Black Wolff: Okay, I promise, I'll be serious now (maybe). ;-) Where did you first come up with the idea for Heroes and Villains?
Fibonacci: It was inspired by two things.
Fibonacci: One was the "pass around the book" thread, and the other was Ridureyu's post with profiles for an entire superhero team he invented just for fun.

[The threads in question are from our private forum where this project was born and continues to be organized. Pass the book involved responding to previous posts with your own sentence or paragraph to continue the story in progress.]
Black Wolff: Did you imagine at the start that we would still be going now or that some episodes would be the length they are?
Fibonacci: I thought the project would have to get restarted at least once to modify the rules, but it turned out it was possible to modify them without breaking the flow.

[For the record one RPG that Fib started did die, one has almost died, but H&V (or SH&V) has been a rousing success]
Fibonacci: As to how long it would continue with or without restarting the plot, I wasn't sure whether or not author interest would hold.
Black Wolff: How do you think the rule changes have changed the story, all for the better?
Fibonacci: With the most recent ones, it's too soon to tell.
Fibonacci: The last overhaul of the rules was rather extensive.
Fibonacci: The intent of most of the previous changes have been to make the random episode assignments less random.
Black Wolff: Can you give a brief example of a change for those who have never seen the behind the scenes process of episode production?
Fibonacci: When the project first started, each new assignment began with a randomly picked character; each character had equal likelihood of getting picked each time.
Fibonacci: I thought that on average they would all get featured about the same; according to the "Law of Large Numbers" from statistics, the percentage of episodes featuring each ought to get closer and closer to being even as the number of episodes written approaches infinity.
Fibonacci: The trouble with this is that infinity is really big.
Black Wolff: Is this countable infinity or uncountable infinity we're talking about here?
Black Wolff: ;-)

Fibonacci: Countable. You'll notice the episodes are numbered.
Fibonacci:
With integers.
Fibonacci:
The thing is, on the way to infinity there will be some imbalances.
Fibonacci:
Specifically in our case, Dennis Brown was getting featured a lot more than his fair share.
Fibonacci:
The first plot generator change that I made gave each character a weighted likelihood of getting picked.
Fibonacci:
When a character gets featured in an assignment, their weight drops to 0 (although it used to drop to 1). Every time they *don't* get picked for an assignment, this weight increases by 1.
Fibonacci:
So, for instance, if Carry Hobson hasn't been assigned for 8 turns, her weight is now 8.
Fibonacci:
If X is the sum of all the weights for all the characters, then her probability of getting picked next is 8/X.
Fibonacci:
At least, that's how it used to work. After the most recent upgrade, it's a bit more complicated because of character groups. :)
Black Wolff: So being featured is a great weight loss program? Now, I know you're not a telepath (at least I hope), but how do you think the writing process is different for you than for the other authors? Or is it likely to be the same?
Fibonacci:
Well, I imagine it's a bit different for everyone.
Fibonacci:
But I don't think my being the moderator influences it much.
Fibonacci:
The rules are mostly mechanical, such that they could be administered by a computer program.
Fibonacci:
I try to avoid anything requiring a judgment call.
Fibonacci:
I suppose it's easier for me to ask for a deadline extension.
Black Wolff: Aye. Now do you go through any set process when you write an episode?
Fibonacci:
Well, first I look at the two available options and brainstorm for ideas.
Black Wolff: Any lightning involved in those storms?
Fibonacci:
Only if the episode is about Darth Onion.
Fibonacci:
*cue the band to give a musical sting to indicate a joke*
Black Wolff: *band plays requested number with gusto*
Fibonacci:
Once I get a general idea for a plotline, I go ahead and roll up the next assignment so I can inform the next author (e.g., you) what the new options will be.
Fibonacci:
Okay, so I guess the process is a *little* different for me.
Fibonacci:
I also have to try hard to pretend I don't know what that new option is, if whatever I'm writing might influence it.
Fibonacci:
Usually it's not an issue.
Black Wolff: How can it be an issue?
Fibonacci:
Well, if I knew that what I wrote would influence the details affecting the new assignment, I might be tempted to alter what I write, knowing what you would likely do with it next.
Fibonacci:
This is why I keep the sneak preview of the next assignment restricted to just me and whoever the next author is.
Fibonacci:
The current author isn't supposed to know the future.
Black Wolff: Ah, so after you temporarily erase part of your memory, where do you go from there?
Fibonacci:
Usually I think over the assignment for a day or two, getting my ideas organized.
Fibonacci:
Then I just start typing. Often the plot will take unexpected turns when I think about how the different characters might react to situations.
Fibonacci:
In the last few episodes I've done, it's been a bit different.
Fibonacci:
Because things have gotten so complex.
Fibonacci:
Lately, I'll have a grocery list of loose ends I want to tie up.
Black Wolff: Do you ever reread previous episodes before writing to refresh your memory? Or do you just access your freakishly computer-like memory banks?
Fibonacci:
Oh, I refer to prior episodes all the time. You know that "character reference thread" that I haven't updated for about five turns?
Fibonacci:
I made that because I needed it.
Black Wolff: Just for the record I've been updating my table of contents after each episode, :-).
Fibonacci:
Incidentally, your indexing of characters was superior to mine.
Fibonacci:
Oh.
Fibonacci:
GMTA.
Black Wolff: :-D
Fibonacci:
Feel free to transfer that to the thread in question.
Black Wolff: So what has been your favourite part of the entire project?
Black Wolff: (I shall do that when I get a chance, by the way)
Fibonacci:
Seeing various authors with various idea of where the story should be going actually work together and produce something worth reading.
Fibonacci:
Oh, I just realized that the writing process *is* different for me.
Fibonacci:
Because part of my job as moderator is to keep things running smoothly so that the project continues.
Fibonacci:
Sometimes that means sacrificing what I would like to do in an episode, and would do if I were just another author, and substituting that for what I think will be best for the overall plot structure.


You'll have to come back to this section next week to find out how Fib's mind really works--find out which characters are his favourite! You may be horrified, you may be thrilled, but you'd better be here, because you won't find this anywhere else.

And now, in a hint of future possibilities I offer you a paragraph of humour. Early on in this project's history Fib decided to translate some episodes into Engrish to see how they turned out. The process is simple, but quite humorous. Start by entering your text into Babelfish and translating them into another language, Japanese is a good choice since that country is the origin of the word Engrish. Then you take that translated text and translate it back into English. The results are fun and often hilarious. Here you can see the first paragraph of our opening episode. First in the original English, and secondly in Engrish. We may feature more of these Engrish episodes in the future, so consider this a sneak peak of things to come.

English:
It was a cool spring Monday morning in Mammoth City. The sun struggled to shine on the massive skyscrapers and the people rushing to work, but only managed to pierce the thick cloud of pollution in a feeble sort of way. Business executives drove to their office buildings, children rode yellow buses to school, police officers sat down to their morning coffee and doughnuts, while gang members made sure their illegal weapons were in order before beginning the day's illegal activities.

Engrish:
That was the morning when Monday of the spring of the enormous city is cool. It fought in order to shine with large multistoried building and people where it hurries the sun in order to work but but in order to bore the hole through the cloud whose pollution of method of feeble type is thick doing. The member of one group verified their illegal weapons, drove to the officer who sits down in the coffee of the yellow bus and their mornings when but enterprise staff the office building, rode in the child in the school before beginning the illegal activity of day in order, was a doughnut.

Please, leave us comments and questions. I would really like to know how y'all react to this feature, and what you enjoy--or what you would like to see that we haven't provided yet. Thanks for reading!

~Black Wolff

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Friday, July 28, 2006

Episode LXII

“It doesn’t make sense, none of it! The casts, the fake smoke, the vial, and the girl—it doesn’t make sense.” Straining to see in the fog, Luke saw nothing, and was surprised to hear the loud pop of pistol fire. “Bullets!” The sound sent him back several years, bringing to mind the sound of sirens, shouts, and a gun...

Two more shots shook him awake and made him reach for his ears as the sound reverberated in the close quarters of the hall. Luke tried to shift his weight about trying to get a better view of the fighting, but with his casts he found it extremely difficult to rotate his legs. Man, I wonder how the Tin Man did it—forget a heart, I would have been content with some oil and a way to pick myself up! Luke chuckled at the thought of the Tin Man slipping on a banana peel and falling on his back, unable to pick himself up because of his sheer bulkiness.

“Luke! C’mon, let’s go!” Sarah’s commanding presence brought him back to his present situation, along with that recently familiar sense of confusion. Sarah lifted him from the ground rather skillfully, conjuring a funny little picture of Dorothy trying to raise the Tin Man from his precarious situation. “Give me your hand!” Not waiting for him to respond, she jerked his arm around her shoulder and started walking, half-carrying, half-pushing Luke down the hall. Something was different with the way she was acting now—it seemed her patience was gone, replaced with a sense of determination that would have matched Evel Knievel before trying to jump the Grand Canyon.

“Concentrate! You’re not lame, so stop acting like it!”

“I can’t help it; we’re going too fast!”

“No, we’re going too slow, now pick it up!”

Luke struggled with his bulky feet, certain that they had been replaced with concrete blocks. “What’s going on? I heard gunfire!”

“Someone,” Sarah paused for a moment, letting the alarms fill the silence for her, “someone went too far.”

Too far? What’s that supposed to mean?? Before he had a chance to ask, Luke’s right leg kicked into something, sending him flying forward, this time going unaided by Sarah as his arm flew from around her neck. As he braced for impact, Luke noticed that the ground rushing toward him was not the metallic blue of the hallway, but green.

Thud. The impact hurt, but not as badly as Luke had expected. Clinging to the ground, he mentally took inventory of all his teeth, making sure his jarring landing hadn’t made any permanent impressions. “Someone should put tape on those steps to...” Luke paused as he felt the ground beneath him give unusually well as he tried to lift himself. Lifting his torso Luke examined the ground beneath him. “That’s funny, this ground is camouflage, no wonder I didn’t see it.” He began to chuckle uneasily, trying to lift himself from his awkward position. That’s when he felt it: warmth. The ground was warm! “Ahhyehh, oh goodness!” Luke screamed in surprise and horror at the realization that his soft landing was not carpet, but bodies.

As she hoisted him to his feet again, Sarah shouted something about hurrying, but she remained motionless as Luke looked at the bodies strewn about. “They’re not,” he nodded at the body he now stood by, “are they?”

“Dead? No.” Sarah’s eyes locked on one body as she stared distractedly, “not most of them.”

* * *

”Reception to Dr. Gordon. Dr. Gordon please call three five zero. Call three five zero.”

“Oh, where’s that danged phone. Keep an eye on her, she’s moving faster than normal, and the upper floors aren’t ready yet. In fact, send another team in to keep her occupied!”

“Doctor, she’s entering a patient’s room—incredible! It seems she’s bringing the patient with her!”

“She what??! Let me see that tracking screen! This is unbelievable; she’s never done this before. Sometimes I’m worried that she’ll hurt the patients, but take one with her? Keep her covered, see if you can’t catch a glimpse of them on one of the remaining security cameras.”

“What are you planning Miss Marshall?” Dr. Gordon glanced around distractedly, as if looking for something; suddenly remembering the phone, he rushed to his desk covered in charts and electronic equipment, sweeping half of it onto the floor in search of the receiver. I really ought to keep this thing neater. One of these days there’ll be an emergency— it would be a grievous mistake to try to dial 911 on a motherboard.

Seeing the telephone, Dr. Gordon grabbed the receiver and started pounding numbers. “Three-two-seven. No, what is that extension again? Ummm, three-nine-seven...no! No! No! Dang it! Where’s that list of extensions?” The man pushed more equipment off his desk, hoping to somehow reveal a small slip of paper, but only exacerbating the disorder.

“Doctor, that extra team is reaching the floor now.”

“Dang it! I’m missing the most interesting development in years, does anyone know Miss Christianson’s extension??!”

One of the guards by the elevator door piped up, “Three-five-zero!”

Gordon gave half a smile as he glanced at the young man, “I figured you would know.”

Punching the appropriate numbers Dr. Gordon raised the receiver to his ear just as shouts of panic and tranq-fire broke out over the command speaker. “What’s going on?! Someone tell me what the heck is going on up there!”

“I’m not sure sir, all the tracking signals are too close together. Let me see, it seems she’s left the patient in the hall and has engaged the team.”

”Hello? Yes Miss Christianson, what is it? I’m a little busy down here right now with the current exercise.”

“Doctor, the body stats on three of the men show signs of tranqs hitting their system—now four!”

The command speaker continued to broadcast the general lashing that his men were receiving...

Gordon covered the receiver and hissed loudly, “She’s obviously got them cornered, so tell them to pull out, now!”

Gordon returned distractedly to his phone conversation.

”Yes, yes—wait! Did you say twenty? Blast! We won’t be done down here for another forty, minimum!” Dr. Gordon took a deep breath trying to calm himself and sort out the facts in his head of these two critically important projects. “Okay, I need you to do something for me—something very important.” Gordon paused until Susan had her notepad ready. “At the time of my appointment with Mr. Underhill, go to my computer. Open the folder on my desktop entitled Cirith Ungol. Run the program named Operation Sharkey. After that leave the computer, and in fact you can go home early. Did you understand all of that?”

Pop. The sound made Dr. Gordon freeze. That sound— it sounded like. “Who the heck authorized the use of firearms!?!” The room was silent as Dr. Gordon glared at his command crew. Dr. Gordon realized he was still on the phone just as two more shots came over the speaker “Man down! I repeat we have a AHH! My leg!”

The whole room sat in silence, waiting for anything from the other end of the command speaker, but greeted only by the constant whine of the alarm. “Sir, Parker’s stats just redlined.”

Gordon glanced down at the phone in his hand in stunned silence. How did this happen, what about the weapons checks? Once again realizing he was still on the phone, the doctor mumbled a quick goodbye and reached to set the receiver back on its hook. A frightened scream coming over the command speaker startled Gordon from his daze, bringing him back to the gravity of his current situation. “What was that? Someone tell me who that was!”

“The computer indicates it came from Lyle’s radio, but he’s been unconscious for several minutes now. Someone must have depressed the call button.”

The command speaker continued to broadcast some quiet mumbling in the background, but it was inaudible over the wail of the alarms.

“Clear the teams homing signals from the computer, I want to be able to see where Miss Marshall’s at!”

“No need sir, Marshall and her guest just entered the elevator.”

“A camera! We’ve got a camera in that elevator, I want it on this screen, now!”

Dr. Gordon paused with a huff as the technician patched through to the elevator camera. Looking at the surveillance screen Gordon stared at Sarah Marshall’s face. “Boy does she look ticked.” A look of panic swept across his face as he examined the face of her patient. “Mr. Legs, is it. How could she have... No, she doesn’t, he was just... Dang it! What is she up to?” As if drawn by his shout, Sarah’s eyes panned upward, spying the camera and locking gaze with Doctor Gordon through the viewscreen. Suddenly her hand came up and the screen turned to static as her stolen firearm obliterated the small surveillance camera.

“Shoot! Can’t she at least let me have my cameras during this exercise?”

“Sir, you did tell her to act like this was the real thing this time—not to pull punches.”

“Yes, but she knows it’s still an exercise. Who do we have on the next floor?”

“Well sir, we’ve got two—wait! Wait! Something’s not right!”

“What! What is it?”

“Well sir, as far as I can tell, she’s not going to the next floor.”

“What do you mean she’s not going to the next floor?”

“I mean sir, I think, I think she’s coming down here.”

* * *

“DOWN! Are you crazy?! We’ve got to get out of here! We’ve—”

“QUIET!”

Luke’s ears winced as she shouted him down, adding to the ringing his ears had gotten from her firing that pistol in the elevator.

“Now you listen to me. I’ve been here a long time, and I know what Gordon is like. He won’t let us just waltz out of here—you can’t just take the express elevator to the top, it doesn’t work that way. Besides, he and I need to have a little chat.”

Luke watched Sarah in stunned silence as she looked around thinking. Glancing upward, a look of deviousness came over her face and she proceeded to grab the taser from beneath her jumpsuit. Luke stared in wonder as she disassembled the thing piece by piece, removing a simple-looking silicon board from the center of the weapon and tossing the rest of the taser aside. “What are you doing?”

“Do you get squeamish around blood?”

Luke chuckled, “I’m a skater. It’s in my line of work.”

“Good.” With that Sarah dug the corner of the board into her forehead, pressing it into her skin with hardly a flinch, her eyes set with a fierce determination that hid any knowledge of pain.

“What are you doing?” Luke gushed. “What is that going to—”

Before he could finish his sentence, Sarah reached up with her gun, placing the butt of it against her forehead, and pushed toward the cut she had made with the edge of the board, carefully, but firmly, as though a skilled surgeon.

To Luke’s amazement a small pill-like chip gradually emerged from the gash, followed by a fair amount of blood, which Sarah only half-successfully slowed by pressing the cut closed with the butt of her gun. Dropping the circuit board, Sarah clutched the chip tightly in her hand, until she felt that her forehead had quit bleeding as much.

“Why did you—”

“Quiet, just. Just quiet, okay?”

“Sorry.”

“Hold out your hand.”

“What, I—”

“Now!”

As Luke held out his hand, Sarah dropped the chip quickly into his palm and clenched his fist with her hand.

“Hold this. Whatever you do, don’t let go until I tell you to, understand?”

“Umm, ok.”

“I mean it, I’ve got a plan, but you have to hold that until I tell you that you can let go!”

* * *

“What do you mean her heart skipped a beat?”

“Just that. The computer showed her going under some serious head trauma, then her heart stopped... then it started again.”

“I have had her in this lab for nine years. Nine years! Never has her heart come close to stopping from a little head trauma.”

“This was not a little head trauma; this was serious damage to her forehead!”

“How does she get serious damage to her forehead in an elevator you idiot? It only goes up and down! Your computer is obviously going haywire, along with everything else in this experiment!”

Gordon continued shouting, this time barking orders at the guards standing by the emergency staircase, “You! Get over here, you help those two cover the elevator. She is not to get in here, understand!”

The two men rushed around the central command pit and stood in front of the elevator, forming a half-circle with the other two men.

“Where’s she at now?”

“Four floors up. Three floors...two...one! Wait!! She’s stopped the elevator at the floor above us, and she’s just sitting there—both of them are just sitting in the elevator.”

Gordon paused anxiously, hoping silently she would not continue downward, knowing she would be very upset, and knowing how impossible it was to deal with her when she was like this...Gordon ran to his desk, opened the top drawer and pulled out a small pistol, hoping it wouldn’t be necessary... ‘What is she doing dang it!’

“Ok! Wait, ok the elevator’s moving again—down. She’s here.”

Gordon heard the ding of the elevator and glanced up to see Luke sitting silently in the elevator, just as Sarah kicked open the door from the emergency staircase.

Pop Pop. Two of the guards sank to the ground as tranquilizer darts struck them squarely in the back.

Pop Pop. The other two guards spun around just in time to receive one each in the chest, and join the other two in a lump on the floor.

“What’s going on!”

Gordon watched as his technician slumped in his chair, leaving his question unanswered except by the sound of an empty tranq gun hitting the floor.

The doctor spun to see Sarah standing in the door holding a very real firearm, and glaring at him with a look that made him wish he could sink to the floor unconscious like his men.

“Dang it Sarah! What are you doing here, the exercise dictated you were suppose to go up to the next level!

“I’m sick of your exercises. In fact, I’m sick of being here—of being your guinea pig!”

“Alright, alright. Calm down, you know you’re not supposed to kill anyone.”

Sarah hissed in anger, “They weren’t supposed to use real bullets!!”

“You’re right, you’re right They were out of line—I didn’t tell them to But now you are out of line.”

“Oh yes, I’m very out of line!” Sarah smiled evilly, “What’s more; I’m getting out of here!”

Gordon shook his head, “You know you won’t last very long.”

“I’m willing to take my chances!”

“You know you need this, without it you don’t stand a chance.” As he spoke Gordon slowly pulled a vial, filled with green liquid from his coat pocket.

“I already have everything I need, and you and, and that,” she said, gesturing toward the vial, “are not needed anymore!”

“Oh...? Are you so sure? You know what happens when you—”

With that Sarah fired. Again and again she pointed the weapon and pulled the trigger, destroying screens, speakers, medical equipment, as much as she could until her gun was empty.

“Now I’m leaving, and if I so much as see another guard... So-help-me I will kill them. Then I’ll come back down here and kill you! Now let me go! You hear me?! Let! Me! Go!”

“Ok, ok, no one’s keeping you here. Leave when you want, but know that if you ever want to come back, you’re welcome here. You’re welcome home.”

Tears fell from Sarah’s eyes, as a look of hate covered her face, “This is NOT MY HOME!!”

* * *

Luke had watched all of this from the doorway of the elevator, and, seeing the glint of a pistol in the doctor’s hand, realized that neither of them intended to let the other live. He won’t be able to kill her first, she’s too fast. But if she kills him I may never discover why I have these casts!

Glancing around, Luke noticed a small, open-sided cart that could be used to transport boxes or equipment, or maybe even—lumber. That’s it! Just like the ones at Home Depot that we used to roll around back in the back corner by the Sheetrock! Crawling quickly over to it, Luke grabbed the cart and slid onto it like a belly board. Using his hands off the sides and front, Luke directed himself toward the command pit and the Doctor, and propelled himself with his hands as hard as possible. The Loon was back at it!

Gordon turned just in time to see the cart flying toward him off the edge of platform above the command pit.

Panicking, Gordon raised his hands, one with the vial, the other with the gun, and cried something inaudible right before the cart struck him square in the chest causing him to drop the gun and knocking him to the ground unconscious.

Luke cringed as he felt a pain in his left arm right before landing on the ground, rolling over top the doctor and into a nearby computer terminal. Groggily he glanced down to see a tranq dart lodged in his shoulder, and turned his eyes to the dart gun in Sarah’s hands. Shifting his weight off his right leg, Luke pressed his hand to his right thigh and blacked out.

* * *

“Luke! Luke! We’re in Westwood! I need to know where your house is. Luke!”

Luke felt a jerk as the vehicle stuttered to a stop. Scenes from his recent abduction ran through his head as he recognized the familiar sound of a van. Shaking his head wearily, Luke opened his eyes to see a red light—a traffic light! Thank goodness, it was just a dream!

“Luke! C’mon, I know you’re awake, I need directions here!”

Luke turned his head and opened his eyes to see a familiar face. Where do I know that face?.

“Hey, talk to me here—that’s an order!”

Suddenly it clicked. Sarah! Luke sat up and looked around. He was in the passenger seat of a van that looked just like the one he had been taken to the lab in.

“Hey! C’mon, do I turn right or left here?”

Luke looked up to see the familiar T-square intersection of Westwood Main and Pine. “Uhh, left.”

Luke was further awakened by the sound of honking and looked back, noticing the large white pickup that had just been cut off. “Hey, watch what you’re doing, you’re going to get us killed!”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I can’t drive; I don’t exactly get out much!” A joyous smile crept across Sarah’s face. “But I’m out!”

“Right.”

“No really, its—”

“NO! I MEAN TURN!”

Luke closed his eyes as he heard tires squeal.

“It’s ok, we’re good. Now, where to?”

The directions to Luke’s house took them several more minutes of chaotic driving accompanied by several apologies for the wayward tranquilizer dart, and when they arrived Luke was just as happy to be stopped on solid ground as he was to see the simple tree-laden yard of his mom’s house. Sarah hopped out, helping Luke steady himself as he climbed down out of the van. Once he was down she watched as he slowly waddled toward his front door. “See, you’re getting it!”

Luke turned slowly and looked at her inquisitively, “So aren’t you coming in?”

“No, I have some, some things to do. But before you go, can you give me a hug?”

Luke was shocked. This same girl that tried to break his hand, accidentally hit him with a tranq dart, wanted a hug?

“Uhh, sure.”

Sarah approached and reached her arms around him in a simple embrace. Just as Luke started to believe it was possible that she really did just want a hug, Sarah grabbed his right hand and started twisting it, shouting at him angrily, “Where is it?! What did you do with it?!”

Luke nearly sobbed from the pain, “With what? What are you talking about?”

“The vial—what did you do with it?”

Luke was shocked. She was after the vial after all. Painfully he reached across under his robe and pulled the vial from his right cast. “I, I just switched sides, that’s all.”

Sarah released his hand and grabbed the vial. Rushing to the van she muttered something that sounded like either an excuse or an apology and hopped in. Staring after her in confusion, Luke watched as she swung the van out quickly, narrowly missing an old Mustang parked on the side of the road. As the van squealed off into the distance, Luke reached his arm back to his right cast to reveal the other vial he had tucked there.

Why was she so desperate for this? What makes it so important to her? What did that doctor guy say? She ‘needed’ it??

“I better call Aunt Abby, she’s a chemist. I bet she’d know something about what this is.”

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Service Announcement

That's right, folks! As the moderator of this writing project it is my sad duty to announce to you that due to a variety of factors, in posting here every week we have nearly used up the buffer of episodes available to be posted. Once this buffer runs out, there's nothing to post, and the creation of new episodes is currently not quite as fast as one per week.

Our plan is to still have some sort of update here every week, but it's not always going to be a new episode. We have a few ideas, which should be entertaining. It's possible that after a while we'll run out of ideas, but I guess we can burn that bridge after we cross it.

For this week, I'd like to try and help out with an issue that was brought to my attention by one of our faithful readers. It seems that because of the scattered nature of the plot sequence (which I may talk about in a future post) it can be difficult for readers to keep track of the various plot threads, or even the various characters. We the authors have detailed profiles on all the characters (at least, all the ones with profiles) which may be displayed here in subsequent posts, but right now I thought I'd just give a list of the main characters (in reverse alphabetical order) with brief descriptions:

Sarah Marshall -- A child who was raised in the lab of the Dr. Gordon. She has unknown physical and mental enhancements, and known training in martial arts and other forms of combat. She recently escaped from the lab. Maybe she and Acidity should start a club.

Nightrider -- Known only by her Q-Lab codename, this mysterious woman was recently promoted to a high-ranking position in the lab, after arranging a coup and getting rid of her boss. She has not, I repeat, has NOT been infested with alien life forms. Nor is she one-quarter Elf. Honestly.

Marla Stewart -- No connection to the famous interior decorator. Really. She is the owner of Acid Resort, where Acidity was spawned. She is also working on becoming the female equivalent of Mr. Incredible. So far she's got super strength, hyper-sensitivity to fluorescent light, and the inability to touch gold without going limp. She doesn't really think of herself as a hero at this point, but she would be happy to rid the world of Acidity.

Marcia Silverberg -- A history major at Mammoth State University who works for Pettigrew/Onion, and is one of the few people who knows his true identity. Their relationship has changes somewhat since she got caught in an explosion in the Chemistry building and developed superpowers. She now has her own alter-identity: M'Jenta, a flashy villainess who can transform into pure energy and throw plasma balls. She is also the only super-being besides Darth Onion to have a costume. As M'Jenta, she has established herself as a rival of Onion who has grudgingly agreed to a cease-fire. She has the advantage, though, in that she knows his secret identity and he does not know hers.

Luke Lake -- A seventeen-year-old skater punk who broke his leg then got kidnapped by Dr. Gordon. The good news is we probably won't have any skatboarding episodes for a while.

James Faulkner -- He has not been called by his given name since the first episode in which he appeared, when he was transformed into the evil monster Acidity. Covered in green scar tissue, he has a face that even a mother couldn't love. He continually secretes highly corrosive acid from various glands on his body, and has to sleep in acidic water at night. He reacts badly to substances with high pH. By injecting people via a spine-like appendage on his arm, he can turn them into nearly-mindless minions, who obey his bidding provided he continues to give them regular injections. He has recently developed the ability to telepathically broadcast his thoughts, particularly to his minions. He really, really doesn't like Marla Stewart, partly because she owns the resort with the acid pools in which he'd like to still be living.

Frank Evans, PI -- This unscrupulous detective makes his living off the shadier element of Daze Springs. He currently has a working relationship with Acidity; he provides information in exchange for not being turned into a zombie.

Dr. Gerald Pettigrew -- A mild mannered history professor by day and an evil overlord by night, Gerald Pettigrew aka Darth Onion has been a part of the story nearly as long as Dennis Brown. His powers include the ability to shoot lightning from his hand like a Sith Lord, the ability to temporarily magnetize anything (or anyone) just by touching it, and the ability to instantly make people cry (hence the name). His weaknesses include rap music and cats. His costume includes a black cape, a Darth Vader mask, and a voice synthesizer that makes him sound like James Earl Jones. He currently rules over roughly half the gangs in Mammoth City, and as Gerald Pettigrew he is preparing to run for Mayor on a platform of promising to end gang violence. He is the mortal enemy of Dennis Brown.

Dennis Brown -- Dennis has been a main character ever since Episode I (and I'm not talking about the Phantom Menace). He is a geeky computer science major who just finished his freshman year at Mammoth State University. He has the powers of passive telepathy and shapeshifting, and is paralyzed if he hears the howl of a wolf. Just before the end of the spring semester he discovered that Professor Pettigrew, who he was working for as a T.A., was really Darth Onion, Dark Lord of the Juvenile Delinquents. Since that discovery he's done a lot of running and hiding, but with his recently acquired shapeshifting ability he may be able to fight back a bit more.

Damien Valiant -- A young employee at Elfaeren Base. His life was forever changed when he came into contact with a Cleaning Rag of Doom, transforming him into a superhero known as The Flying Squirrel. Around the same time, he was used by Q-Lab as an unwitting test-subject for the experimenatl (and possibly extraterrestrial) Queen Device. His powers now include flight and the ability to generate personal energy shields. His one weakness is an allergy to pine scent. For possibly nefarious reasons known only to Q-Lab, he has recently been made the nemesis of M'Jenta.

Carry Hobson -- Carry has been a recurring character since very early in the story, but was only recently promoted to main character status and given a full profile. She is Dennis Brown's girlfriend, and provides him with regular advice and support. She is also of African-American ancestry, a fact which has not to my knowledge been made clear in any episode.

Abby Gillis -- Abby hasn't been featured in many episodes, but she's already had a run-in with Acidity. She works at D.S. Scientific Studies Lab, which once held Acidity captive, and has recently been promoted to a position within the lab that allows her access to its deepest secrets. She has also been appointed as Marla Stewart's contact within the D.S.S.S.L.

Labels:

Friday, July 07, 2006

Episode LX

“Dr. pHinn?” Damien knocked on the hard alloy doorframe, then swiftly withdrew his hand. Small things that had never bothered him before now frequently caused small twinges of pain. The lab assistant resisted the impulse to put the knuckles in his mouth. It didn’t hurt that bad, and what was he, a little kid? Rapping on the Plexiglas of an experiment cabinet Damien called out again.

“Dr. pHinn, are you in here?” He knew the doctor had to be around. As paranoid as the doctor was Damien knew he would never have left the lab door unlocked, especially with so many on-going projects. Finally he peered into his supervisor’s office. pHinneas was hard at work beating Metroid II for the umpteenth time, accompanied by the strains of music vaguely familiar coming from his stereo.

Before disturbing the doctor Damien tried to identify the music—finally decided that it was Hans Zimmer’s score to Pirates of the Caribbean. No wait, it was somebody named Klaus that scored the movie, wasn’t it? And this music didn’t sound exactly like the CD Damien had bought. It couldn’t be from the sequel, could it? No, that wasn’t due out until next summer. Curious now, Damien tapped Dr. pHinn on his shoulder.

Without missing a beat pHinn killed a Gamma Metroid, flipped off his earphones, and swiveled in his easy chair. “How fares the brave explorer?”

“Well enough. Dr. Framen gave me a clean bill of health. I don’t have to report for check-ups any more.”

“Good, good. Did you bring that sample I asked for?”

“Of course. But first,” the assistant paused with the vial halfway out of his pocket. “Where is that music from?”

“Q L—I mean Quentin Larento, an old friend of mine. He conducts the Mammoth City Symphony.”

“Oh,” Damien commented, extending the requested biological sample. “It sounded sorta like Pirates of the Caribbean to me.”

“Ah, yes, it does at that,” Dr. pHinn replied shortly, clearly eager to drop the issue. “Well my boy, we should get back to work. I have some new samples over here we need to test.”

“Certainly Brain” Damien wisecracked. “Ready to take over the world!”

“So you’re thinking what I’m thinking?” pHinneas continued without waiting for a reply. “Very good, I do so enjoy CSI. Their machines are science fiction everywhere but this lab.”

“My boy, did you see today’s newspaper?” Dr pHinn asked while staring through a tank full of three-legged frogs. Such an abrupt change of flow within a conversation was not exactly unusual for the good doctor.

Damien almost replied “which one” before remembering for the umpteenth time that officially there was only one newspaper in Elfaeran Base. The Faeran Times, usually called the Fairy, consisted of official base news and stories culled from the AP and Reuters wires. It was printed daily and faithfully recycled, just like a “regular” newspaper, sans advertising, but heavy on editorials. “Um, no,” he finally admitted.

pHinneas rummaged around his desk for a moment then tossed a roll of newsprint at Damien. The assistant unrolled the package to see a headline scream at him.

“EXPLOSION IN GREY BARRACKS!!!”

Security Director Among Dead

“When did this happen?”

“Last night. Well, it was staged last night.”

“Staged?”

“Of course. They said it was an accident in a depressurization experiment, but those are always done in the Red Zone. And Director Rasmussen? I happen to know that he was missing in Sector 17 last week, not last night in the barracks.”

* * *

Five minutes out of Daze Springs Marcia was lost. She knew that she could simply transform and fly ahead, but she didn’t really want to leave her car in the middle of nowhere. Thanks to two X chromosomes Marcia had no objections to asking for directions, but she generally figured that it made more sense to ask a person than a stalk of corn. It wasn’t her idea to be out here anyway, but she knew she had to take part of the blame—it had been her decision to go through with the idea.

While Dennis and Carry had escaped, M’Jenta and Darth Onion had indeed discussed a truce. Onion at first tried to insist that M’Jenta leave Mammoth City entirely. He had quickly given up on this idea when she burned his chessboard before he could make her cry. After that false start the two villains had settled down to business.

Since she couldn’t hurt him directly and didn’t look forward to a perpetual Mexican standoff, M’Jenta had agreed to listen to Onion further. Darth Onion had proposed that M’Jenta begin by respecting his sphere of influence with his gangs. Marcia remembered M’Jenta snorting in derision as she wondered how that could possibly benefit her. They had continued on for several minutes until M’Jenta proposed that a door be opened to allow cool air into the now stuffy area of the warehouse they occupied. Onion had paused for so long that M’Jenta had suspected him of playing possum or preparing another attack.

Finally the villain had stirred and M’Jenta had heard the grin creasing his face as he spoke.

“Secretary of State—“

Impatient, M’Jenta cut him off. “Coli—no, Condoleezza Rice, right?”

“No, 1899. John Hay. Bah, never mind! Only a historian would understand.” Thinking that her anonymity might continue to prove useful, M’Jenta bit her tongue as Onion explained the turn of the (last) century American position on China.

“It was called the Open Door policy and was meant to ensure that European spheres of influence within China retained Chinese sovereignty (in name at least) and open access to other western powers. America was new come to the Far East with her Philippine colonies and didn’t want to be left out of the riches of Chinese trade.

“I propose that we divide Mammoth City between the two of us, but perhaps we can leave some for the police.” He laughed before continuing. “Obviously it would be exhausting for us to hold actual fiefs against all comers, besides if we did I’m sure the federal government would eventually try to step in. However, we could definitely influence matters behind the scenes if we don’t have to compete…” Onion trailed off suggestively.

After two hours of poring over detailed maps of the city (previously liberated from the city planning office) the two villains finally parted. They were not friends, allies, or even close, but they weren’t trying to kill each other. They might be plotting how they could break the alliance to their own best advantage some time in the future—but they weren’t actively killing each other. Yet.

After several more miles of reminiscing Marcia finally saw a mud-splattered sign at the side of the road, almost hidden by foliage. It read “A bl Farm” above an arrow pointing down a narrow gravel drive. “Finally!” Marcia exclaimed, figuring that for a while at least she wouldn’t be as bored as she had been in most of her junior college classes. Other people talked about underwater basket weaving as if it were a joke with no basis in fact—they could never understand. Perhaps though the little girl in the yard could help.

Marcia rolled down her window as her car came to a stop. “Excuse me, are your parents around? I’m afraid that I’m lost.”

The girl looked up from where she was playing with a small pig and nodded. She swiftly disappeared behind a row of ferns and emerged a moment later with a man in overalls. In fact, and Marcia couldn’t believe it at first, he had an actual corncob pipe clenched in his teeth.

“Can I help you miss? My daughter says that you’re lost.”

“Yes, thank you. I need to get to Twin Peaks. I attended Peters Community and they’re having a get together this week. The only problem is that I’ve only ever been there on the school bus, so…”

The farmer chuckled and grinned knowingly. “Aye Miss, I’ve heard that afore. Head back out of here, turning left. When you pass the third cow turn right through the open gate. Once across the pasture you’ll see Kyle’s Lane. From there you’ll turn right and the road will dead end into Route 23.”

“Is there a route that doesn’t go through a pasture?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind another ten miles and six turns?”

With a groan Marcia repeated the directions twice, thanked the farmer, and drove off down the dusty lane.

* * *

Damien entered the laboratory promptly at eight, for some reason certain that he had overslept. Instead he found the entire suite of rooms deserted. In all his months working with the good doctor Damien had never arrived at the lab before pHinneas Q. Dinglethorpe. Even if this was unprecedented Damien still had experiments to conduct and data to collect. He was especially looking forward to watching blue tomatoes grow.

Damien had just begun to turn on the computers that would monitor the progress of tomato growth when Dr. pHinn breezed in through the main doors.

“Damien, I didn’t expect you to be here. Didn’t you receive my message?”

“No, sir.” Damien focused on the computers to activate their software links to the scanning devices then turned back to the doctor. “What was it about, sir?”

“Today. Um, you didn’t need to come in today.”

“What?” Damien’s hands continued to operate the manipulators controlling the planting of tomato seeds. He continued on autopilot as the doctor explained.

“Do you know how I started out here at the base?”

“Uh, actually no, I don’t think you ever told me Dr. pHinn. I just assumed that you started out as a lab rat sometime in the dinosaur age.”

The doctor laughed. “Not quite that far back. I started out as a security guard working in the science sector—that would be Sector 13 now. It was, actually come to think of it I don’t remember what year it was, but that doesn’t really matter anyway. I spent a couple years patrolling corridors and generally watching many of the experiments that were being conducted. In those days there weren’t quite as many private laboratories so we really had the cream of the crop of scientists here—except that we were more top secret than the Manhattan project. Finally I approached my supervisor and asked him if it would be acceptable if I snuck to the surface and took some science classes at Peters Community College.”

“Peters?” Damien interrupted. “Where is that? I didn’t know anything was near to the base.”

“There are many things you don’t know. I think I showed you the valley side of the base when you first came here—there are some spectacular views from the balconies concealed in the cliffs—but most people don’t ever get to see any more than that. The eastern sectors of the base actually now go under some populated areas. They are remarkably low density, but still populated. Heck, the tunnels in Sector Omega are under the town of Twin Peaks. Perhaps you noticed how the ceilings are lower? After some citizens in the town started complaining of sounds in their basements the decision was made to heavily soundproof that area—and with people already wary it wasn’t possible to use digging equipment to enlarge the tunnels before the soundproofing was added. Anyway, to cut a long story shorter Peters Community is located inside of Twin Peaks. I think there might even be a tunnel up to one of the science laboratories where a former Elfaeranite works, but none of that was around in my day.

“Occasionally we peons were allowed up to Twin Peaks in remarkably small numbers on ‘vacation.’ On one trip I’d noticed Peters, then recently built by Harold Peters, millionaire.” The doctor paused in reflection. “He might actually have been one of the first billionaires. He was a real-life Jed Clampett and made it his mission to improve the town of Twin Peaks. He did build the college and name it after himself, but he never could attract many people to the town. It might have had something to do with base agents; I’m not really at liberty to say.

“Well, my director eventually approved the request and two years later I graduated with my associate of science degree. Then I had to fight for another year before they would let me transfer to Yale. I had to promise to return, but they let me go long enough to complete my bachelor’s degree and my doctorate. I even had time to put in a three year internship at the CIA before coming back here. I bumped back and forth between the security and science directorates until I ended up in this lab five years ago.

“As of last night I’ve been offered the Security Directorship to replace Rasmussen. I have enjoyed working with you Damien, but I really feel it is time to get back to Security, and I cannot give up this opportunity. You know how often I have groused and complained about the lack of security around here—this is finally my chance to do something substantial about it. However you needn’t worry about the lab. Dr. Moody will be coming in to take my place—though he may want to restructure some of the existing experiments. I hear he favors orange tomatoes more than blue.”

Damien’s mind spun for a moment as he digested all of the information the doctor had thrown at him. He couldn’t understand orange tomatoes—blue made sense, but orange?? Then the rest of what the doctor said hit him. “Wait, Dr. Moody? Isn’t he, well…”

“Yes, he is a bit touched, but aren’t we all to work here?” Dr. pHinn laughed.

* * *

“Reception to Dr. Gordon. Dr. Gordon please call three five zero. Call three five zero.”

Susan waited for two minutes then reached for her phone to page her employer again. Just as her fingers closed around the handset the phone rang. With a start she jerked her hand back until her mind processed the fact that line one was lit—extension 350. She shook her head, exasperated with her short nerves. Susan wasn’t sure why, but lately she had been uneasy while at work.

“Dr. Gordon?”

“Yes Miss Christianson, what is it? I’m a little busy down here right now with the current exercise.”

Susan could hear many voices behind the doctor. It was obvious that he was calling from his command center. “Sir, I just need to remind you that you need to call Mr. Underhill in twenty minutes.”

“Yes, yes—wait! Did you say twenty? Blast! We won’t be done down here for another forty, minimum!” Dr. Gordon took a deep breath clearly audible over the phone line. “Okay, I need you to do something for me—something very important.”

“Of course sir.” Susan pulled a pad of paper out of her desk drawer and reached for a pencil.

“At the time of my appointment with…Mr. Underhill, go to my computer. Open the folder on my desktop entitled Cirith Ungol. Run the program named Operation Sharkey. After that leave the computer, and in fact you can go home early. Did you understand all of that?”

“Yes sir. I will get it done.”

“Thank you Miss Christianson. Now I must run.” Just before her employer hung up his phone Susan thought she heard a scream.

* * *

Marcia drove into Twin Peaks in a foul mood. The farmer’s directions had been quite good, but after she arrived at the highway the government signs hadn’t been as helpful. It was after sunset by the time Marcia passed the town limits. She almost passed up the first lodging sign she saw before she remembered that it probably was the only. The Shepherd’s Rest didn’t look like much, but on second thought the collection of rustic log cabins looked quite welcome after a day in her small car. Thomas, the clerk at the front desk was happy to inform Marcia that yes they had several vacancies and quickly assigned her to Room B in the Maple Grove cabin.

Once her bags were inside the room Marcia flopped down on the bed and thought seriously about just falling asleep right then and there. Then her stomach growled and she realized she might fall asleep, but she would surely wake back up quite hungry in a few hours. With another groan she half-heartedly started to throw a few angry words in the direction of Mammoth City. The day after M’Jenta’s encounter with Darth Onion, Professor Pettigrew had still been ignorant of the identity of his nemesis. She decided that she would exploit the professor’s ignorance as long as it was useful—since it surely wouldn’t last very long. So when the professor suggested that she travel to Twin Peaks to investigate if there was any gang activity in the area she acquiesced.

The professor hadn’t mentioned much about his gang activities prior to the latest meeting, but at that time he had gone into great detail as he ranted and raged about M’Jenta and the monkey wrench that she had thrown into his plans. He revealed that he was desperate to insure that his plans succeed and was looking to expand his operations as far as possible. He had even been reading the Daze Springs newspaper and was almost as upset at all the reports of the local monster. He’d connected the dots better than the newspaper editor and was worried that such a monster might actually be possible competition. Surely the fact that it hasn’t been caught indicated intelligence, and it certainly wasn’t acting like a law abiding citizen might.

Since the evil professor had decided that penetrating Daze Springs had the potential to be quite difficult he had decided to concentrate on other communities in the vicinity of Mammoth City instead. He had already sent one of his top henchmen into Westwood and had decided to send Marcia to Twin Peaks, knowing that she had attended Peters Community for a year.

She would walk somewhere to dinner, Marcia suddenly decided. Though she had tried to wipe most of her memories of the town out of her mind, some had lingered. She remembered that every place worth visiting was within walking distance of Main Street and she didn’t think that the cabins were too far from Main Street. Even if they were she could just fly if she absolutely had to—she wasn’t too worried about being mugged.

* * *

Damien wandered back to his room. It hadn’t taken long to help Dr. pHinn pack his few personal items, and after that the doctor had closed down the lab. He assured Damien that he would instruct Dr. Moody to contact him when the lab was open again, which would surely happen within the week or so. In the meantime he assured Damien that he could still visit him in his new position; in fact, the doctor encouraged Damien to visit, explaining that he really appreciated the young man’s insight.

Once he closed his door Damien slouched down in his recliner and thought about turning on his television before noticing that the remote was again lost. He didn’t have enough energy left to search for the remote, let alone turn the TV on manually. Instead he picked up his cordless phone and dialed a familiar number from memory, though it was one that he had not called in months.

“The number you are trying to reach is not in service. Please hang up and try again.”

Damien laughed, thinking back to his time in college and the time that Hegel had recorded that very message onto his voicemail.

“Very funny Hegel, now pick—”

“The number you are trying to reach is not in service. Please hang up and try again.”

Damien reflected, perhaps it wasn’t a message. The number might actually be out of service, though he couldn’t think why. Actually though, when he reflected he remembered that he hadn’t talked to Hegel since right before his friend had left for Yellowstone. For some reason in the many weeks since he hadn’t talked or communicated with Hegel, though it wasn’t as though he’d been busy learning about a new superpower or anything like that.

“The number you are trying to reach—” Damien hung up the phone before the message could repeat itself again. After ransacking his memory for several minutes he remembered that Hegel Jeremiah had a universal voicemail account. Although he had to actually extend his left arm to pick up his PDA Damien though the effort well rewarded several minutes later when he unearthed the number he was searching for.

“This is Hegel. You must be special because I don’t give this number to everybody. Leave me a good message or else!”

Damien quickly left his number, or rather the ordinary looking number that the Elfaeran tap into the phone system would route to his quarters even faster than most phones connected.

What seemed like a mere minute after he hung up the phone Damien was startled awake by the harsh ring that signaled an outside line.

“Hello?”

“Hah, you sound like you just woke up in one of Dr. Moray’s history classes.”

“Very funny Hegel, I never fell asleep in one of his classes.”

“No? Well you should have. If I had to listen to another lecture on the effects of medieval monasticism I don’t know what I’d do. But enough of that, what is happening old friend?”

“Where are you Hegel?”

“I’m at home, where else would I be Damien?”

“I tried calling you there but the line was disconnected.”

“Eh? Oh you must mean my old apartment, but I moved out weeks ago. Don’t you remember?”

“No I don’t. You never told me you were moving.”

“I was sure that I had. Strange… Well I’m now living in a tiny town quite a way north of Mammoth City called Twin Peaks.”

Had Damien been drinking anything he was sure he would have spewed it hallway across the room. As it was his next words came out slightly strangled. “What are you doing there?”

“Teaching at the junior college actually. I’m sure I told you that I finished my math degree; well I want another masters degree before I go for my doctorate. This school, Peters Community just focuses on the physical and social sciences, except for the one thing that it is famous for—forestry. Actually it is their sole masters program.”

“Ah, that would make it a perfect fit,” Damien interjected.

“Definitely. I was already considering applying when I met the dean on my last Yellowstone backpacking trip. He ended up offering me a job teaching math and I just couldn’t say no. So what are you up to Damien?”

“Still at the same lab, but my supervisor was just reassigned; I’m not sure who I’ll be working with now. You know though, I suppose I could get a couple days off. How about I come up to Twin Peaks for old times sake?”

“That sounds great—but we’re not old yet!” Hegel laughed. “So your lab is down in Mammoth City, right?”

Damien hated to lie, but he knew there was no chance he could tell the truth. No, I’m only about a mile away from you, several hundred feet down. “Yes, but my car is in the shop. I’ve been using the city buses to get to work; do any busses run up to Twin Peaks?”

“Actually there are a couple—two or three a week if I remember. They all run on Wednesday and Saturday.”

“That sounds good. I’ll give you a call when I decide on a day.”

“Perfect. Hey, I hate to cut you off but I need to get back to grading papers.”

“No problem. I understand. Bye.”

“Later, Damien.”

As soon as he heard a dial tone Damien dialed a cell he’d long ago memorized. “Dr. pHinn it is Damien. Something came up; can I come down to your new office? Thanks, I’ll be there in twenty.”

* * *

Jeff leaned back against the headboard of his bed. With only two hotels in town he hadn’t dared to check into either; instead he had found, after extensive searching, a small studio apartment available to rent.

The first two days he spent shopping—furniture, transportation and a computer were all critical to his continued campaign against Q Lab. The car and furniture were all rather nondescript but he had spared no expense on his new laptop. The only hardware he missed was a hybrid hard drive. He read that public companies had just finished prototypes but didn’t expect to see commercial production for at least another year. They had had their own version of the drives in Q Lab for four months already, running flawlessly with their own custom operating system. It was that versatile OS that Jeff missed the most, but he might be able to get a copy—if he played his cards right.

If all had gone according to plan Dr. Gordon would have unleashed Operation Sharkey several hours before. Utilizing the doctor’s secure connection with Q Lab via Xanga’s satellite the program would use Jeff’s knowledge of unexpired internal codes to break into Q Lab’s most secure computers. It was possible codes had been changed, but Jeff thought this was extremely unlikely given Nightrider’s arrogance.

The first stage of Sharkey included a Trojan horse that Jeff could exploit over normal connections at least one time in the future before it was detected. He didn’t ever plan to utilize Dr. Gordon’s connection again, deeming it too great of a security risk—especially with the doctor valuing his privacy as much as he did. The first stage would also release a little present entitled Khan’s Revenge. This program would insinuate itself in the system’s core files and appear to be a surprise that Jeff had set before he was “fired” and equipped with a deadman’s switch. Khan’s Revenge was designed to create mass havoc with the base’s security systems and perhaps allow a henchman of Acidity time to slip into the base itself. The program would not be triggered until Jeff sent an e-mail to a specific account, however, and once it was activated it would scrub away all evidence of its control via remote.

Jeff wasn’t sure exactly when he would activate Khan, only that it would be soon. He knew that he might get only one shot—and even his other Trojan Horse might be discovered in the aftermath—so he wouldn’t move until he was perfectly ready.

The next part of his plan was almost ready, ready to execute at the same time as Khan to cause the most confusion. Unbeknownst to most in the government techies within Elfaeran actually ran many of the federal government’s websites. Mousetail, before he had joined Q Lab, had been head of a team responsible for nearly a dozen websites. Now that he had joined the hallowed ranks he had been cut off from his former team, but he still managed to run four sites. The US Air Force, NASA, CIA, and NSA pages all ran under his exclusive control.

Jeff had been planning a denial of service (DOS) attack against Mousetail for some time as a security test. Once he had been evicted from Q Lab Jeff had decided to use the planned attack as a diversionary method. In order to keep suspicion down he had also targeted Homeland Security, the Navy, and the Patent Office. If all went according to plan Mousetail and his cronies would be so incredibly busy with their websites that they would be kept away from Elfaeran’s central computers until it was far too late to do anything.

Logging into a long dormant and untraceable Gmail account, Jeff read the two messages in the inbox and grinned. The messages confirmed that everything was indeed proceeding exactly as planned. “I love it when a plan comes together,” he quoted. Now he could sit back and watch a couple of horror movies to more enjoyably pass the time. He decided to re-watch The Grudge and Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho after some lengthy contemplation.

* * *

Damien opened the locker and put his Elfaeran ID inside along with the other items that the security guard had warned him were forbidden past the exit door. He was allowed to take his cell phone, but had to remove the security chip that allowed it to work inside of Elfaeran. Though he sure the guard had seen many people leave the base, Damien was nervous Damien. He did his best to not let it show. The lab assistant had never before applied for permission to leave and had actually only left to fly, and those times he had either accidentally avoided security or had Q Lab’s help to do the same. This time though he had a pass personally signed by pHinneas Q. Dinglethorpe, Security Director.

The pass hadn’t been that hard to procure. Dr. pHinn had been quite accommodating and understanding about the entire matter, especially when he discovered that Hegel was teaching at Peters. Not only had he expedited Damien’s leave paperwork, approving it on the spot, but he had helped Damien to concoct a proper cover as well. He arranged for an Elfaeran operative who closely resembled Damien to leave Mammoth City on the earlier bus then leave the bus at its last stop before Twin Peaks. Damien would be transported to that stop in time for the next bus where he would produce the proper ticket and explain that he had missed making it back to the previous bus. Whenever he decided to return to the base the process could be repeated if he decided that he needed the extra level of protection for his cover identity.

None of this was foremost on Damien’s mind as he passed through the last checkpoint and met the waiting 4x4 that would take him to the Alice Springs bus stop. The ride was quite boring as the driver didn’t say anything, subtly rejecting all of Damien’s attempts to start a conversation. Once he arrived he wondered why the bus stop even had a name. It wasn’t anything more than a concrete bench and plastic overhang alongside a deserted dirt road. He had brought a book to amuse himself on the dusty ride into town and he was sure he would need it. Leaning back against the back of the bench he thumbed to the first page and began reading.

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

* * *

Damien wasn’t sure why he had worried as he watched the outskirts of Twin Peaks move past. The bus driver had accepted the explanation that he had wandered off into the wilderness and let him onto the bus with only a brief examination of his ticket. The young man wondered if perhaps the driver was convinced that nobody in their right mind would ride his bus anyway so he didn’t worry about passengers that wandered off and missed their bus. He didn’t have much time to ponder as he exited the bus for he almost immediately ran into Hegel and greeted his old friend quite warmly. On the ride back to Hegel’s office at Peters they talked about many things, just two old friends chatting after too long apart. It didn’t matter especially if they talked about math, computers, or even old professors—it just mattered that they were talking.

Hegel opened the passenger door for Damien as the young assistant hadn’t quite yet figured out the trick required on the used truck when a student walked by, almost running into the door. “Sorry Professor McGonagall!” he called out.

At the mention of the name Damien almost did a double-take before he remembered that yes indeed, that was Hegel Jeremiah’s last name, though he had never allowed his friends to use it around him.

“I know,” the young professor sighed. “Every time I hear that I turn around and expect to see Harry Potter standing there. I don’t think it fair for Rowling to steal my name like that, even if Minerva was a professor first.”

Chuckling Damien followed his friend into the nearest building, clutching the backpack that contained the package Rubber Snake had slipped him so many days before. Once inside he darted into Hegel’s office and firmly shut the door behind himself. It was only after he prevailed upon the young professor to close his windows and blinds that Damien dared to speak.

“I ran across and old friend of yours on-line, well actually his girlfriend. His name is Dennis Brown. I recently procured this package and was informed that I would need the services of another nerd when I opened it. You were the first one that I thought of, but you were off in Yellowstone at the time, so my only option was this Dennis Brown character that I found on-line—since I thought I remembered you mentioning that you had known him in his undergraduate program. I’ve sent him several e-mails and I haven’t heard back yet, so I decided that I needed to contact you after all.”

“Actually I knew Dennis while he was in high school, he is only a freshman this year. I tutored him for a while. And now that you mention it I haven’t heard from him in a while. It is strange really, we used to talk all the time. I’ll tell you what, I’ll take a look at this equipment, but I’ll also give Dennis a call. He really is the better one if you’re looking for a hardware expert.”

“Thanks.” Damien breathed a sigh of relief. He had been half afraid that he had had Dennis Brown’s name wrong after all and had been trying to contact a complete stranger.

Before the two young men opened the package Hegel laid his hands on his desk and stared steadily at Damien. “Where did this come from? What can you tell me?”

“Um. Well you don’t quite know everything about the lab I work for. I’m not allowed to talk about what I do there. But someone there gave this to me, someone that has some very neat…toys. I’m pretty sure they’re trying to help me, but I can’t say anything more than that.”

“Okay, I’ll trust you. But please tell me anything you can. Now, what is in here?”

As Damien unwrapped the package Hegel whistled. “Wow I feel like I just stepped into Batman Begins. I don’t know what this stuff is, but it looks better than anything Bruce Wayne has.” For nearly an hour the two examined the contents of the package and actually failed to make heads or tails of most of it—the only thing they could decipher was that one device had a component that required liquid nitrogen.

“I think that I can get some liquid nitrogen from one of the science labs,” Hegel ventured. “We could get it tonight and take this out to test it. I know of an old field where my students say they used to go as highschoolers to goof off. I’m sure that we won’t run into any other adults there, so it would be the perfect place to see what this thing actually does.”

“That sounds perfect to me,” Damien responded. “But what do we do in the meantime?”

“The campus theater is playing a movie.”

“Oh, remember those movie nights in college?” Damien interrupted. He, Hegel, and other friends had often gone to the house of Dr. Hippocrates Noah, biology professor, to watch classic movies.

“Yeah,” Hegel chuckled fondly. “Well here they actually get movies on time—I think it is because this theater is the only one in town. Heck if not for the college I doubt if this town would even exist, so I’m not in the habit of complaining about such strange things. I’ve wanted to see this movie for a while, Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie—it looks great!”

For a moment Damien was in a quandary, but he decided that it wouldn’t hurt to see the movie again. He had actually already seen it three weeks earlier in Elfaeran when it opened before its normal theatrical release above ground. “It sounds interesting. Any idea what it is about?”

“Yeah, apparently this married couple are actually assassins…”

* * *

Professor Pettigrew hadn’t given Marcia much to go on. All he knew about Twin Peaks was that it was a small town that was unlikely to have any real gang activity. But both of them knew that there were always juvenile delinquents in any community, it was only a matter of ferreting them out. In this case it took Marcia the better part of a day to determine that the local hooligans were extremely tame. However, when up to whatever mischief they got up to they could be found in the field behind the abandoned Douglass barn. Once she had finished dinner she waited around “downtown,” walking between the few shops on Main Street until night finally started to fall. Under the cover of darkness the college student recently turned super villain made her way back to her cabin. Once there she took out the costume she had so recently purchased in downtown Mammoth City and after inspecting it for rips and tears proceeded to don the flashy outfit.

M’Jenta was afraid that she wouldn’t find anything worse than a couple of teenagers sneaking a forbidden cigarette behind the old barn, but she held out hope that she would run into some kids that she could actually blackmail or otherwise persuade to follow her. This was her chance to create a power base that was completely independent of Darth Onion. The two villains had divided up Mammoth City, but M’Jenta harbored no illusions that she was anywhere near an equal footing with Onion, who had had many weeks to forge various gangs together into his own personal army.

As used to the city as she was M’Jenta hadn’t counted on it being as dark as it was when she finally arrived at the abandoned barn. She didn’t want to turn into energy form yet. In Mammoth City it hadn’t mattered what the fighting gang members had seen, but here she didn’t want to alarm people or alert her quarry that she was coming early. Therefore she spent several minutes stumbling through the cavernous structure before she came to the back wall. The villain crouched there listening to see if she could hear anyone in the field out back.

“Okay, pour that in here. Yes, that should be perfect. Now we’ll turn this one.” She heard an audible gulp. “Are you ready?”

“Of course, it can’t be any worse than that time we, eh, had that explosion happen in the chemistry lab?”

“Well true. Wow, that was a while ago, wasn’t it? I think it was while I was taking college classes in high school and you were just hanging out. Heck I think it was even before the chemistry department had its own building. If I recall the explosion was part of the reason that it got its own funding to move into a separate building.”

“Ah, old memories. You know, with that most recent explosion we might have to form a Chem Lab Exploders Club!”

“Yeah, but we don’t want anybody to find out we were the second group to qualify for membership.”

“Amen to that.” M’Jenta wasn’t at all sure who she had run into—but it sounded like they had something to hide, so they could be perfect candidates after all. “Here goes nothing.”

At that exact moment M’Jenta burst from the barn’s rickety rear entrance and sent a ball of flames directly towards the two figures. The nearer one immediately cried out in alarm as the ball of flame hit something that he was holding in his hands.

“Watch out!” the other one yelled. “That stuff can’t take much heat.”

With a loud cry the first figure threw his flashlight at M’Jenta and ran past her into the barn. Momentarily disoriented she shook her head for a moment then turning into her energy form she quickly gave chase. The fleeing individual slung whatever he was carrying over his back and practically flew up a long ladder leading up to the barn’s immense haymow.

The villain transformed back into physical form. “You’re not getting away that easily,” she muttered. In rapid succession she sent several balls of energy at the ladder—but unfortunately all missed their intended target. They did succeed in setting the ladder on fire and eventually breaking it into several pieces—but not before her target had finished ascending. With an exclamation of frustration M’Jenta blurred into energy form and rapidly ascended towards the loft. Once she was there she transformed back and rapidly searched for the figure. When she finally found him he was hiding beside a back window, obviously under the mistaken impression that he could actually hide from her.

“You’ll not get away that easily. I won’t let you go until I’m good and ready.” Without warning M’Jenta sent another fireball directly at the figure crouched in the shadows. Unfortunately for a second time she managed to hit the device that he once again clutched in front of him like a talisman. This time though it started to spark when the fireball hit it. He scuttled forward into the light, his features quite alarmed. Without any warning he threw the device at M’Jenta and threw himself out of the window.

The villain tried to dodge, but there simply wasn’t enough time to do more than move enough so that she could see out of the window. She was about to turn into energy form when the device exploded and a burning coldness enveloped her. Her last sight before she lost consciousness was her assailant flying outside the window.

* * *

“What in the blue blazes was that?” Hegel almost shouted.

“Um, I can fly. And I’m not sure who that woman was—but I don’t have time to talk. I think that device might have frozen her when the liquid nitrogen was released. But I don’t have any idea what else it might have done—that was a superconductor in there powering whatever it was. We need to get out of here—especially before this barn really starts burning and attracts more attention. Look, I’ll call you later—but right now you have to get back to your apartment.”

“But,” Hegel tried to interrupt.

“Please, just trust me,” Damien pleaded.

“Okay,” the math professor finally managed to choke out. “Take care of yourself, and call me soon.”

“Of course,” Damien replied with more cheerfulness than he felt. As quickly as he could he ran off into the shadows looking for a tree that he could climb. He needed speed right now to get back to Elfaeran and the only way he knew was to fly. He only hoped that he could get away before that insane woman could wake up and track him.

* * *

At last he was ready. It had taken Jeff several weeks to get all of the pieces into place, but at long last he was sure that everything was ready. With almost trembling fingers he sent the commands that would start his DOS attack on various government web sites. Then he paused and forced himself to wait a little over a half hour. Once he was sure that he had the attention of Mousetail and all of his counterparts he sent the e-mail that would activate Khan’s Revenge. He knew that it would be quite a while before he saw the fruits of his labor as all communication out of the base should soon be shut down, but he was sure that nothing could possibly go wrong at this point.

* * *

Once again Rubber Snake was alone in the satellite monitoring room. “I need to stop volunteering for these shifts,” he muttered. “First that incident with the webcam in Scotland and then Damien and Queen. What’s next? Another fireball like that one over Mammoth City? Bah, I shouldn’t ask, I’m sure that Murphy has an answer.” When an alarm started beeping he was almost afraid to turn around, sure that indeed something had gone wrong. Of course he was right. The satellite currently tasked to examine the territory surrounding Elfaeran Base had picked up a glowing figure flying over the ground. In excitement Rubber Snake hit the emergency button that should summon Blackbird to the control room. It appeared to be the same figure that he had seen examining some recent footage over Mammoth City. At the time he had been afraid it was just an isolated anomaly, but if he was seeing it repeat then he definitely wasn’t crazy and Q Lab might even be able to investigate.

Seconds after he pushed the button half of his screens flickered and died. The Q Labber groaned. The external security systems must be down yet again. Thankfully they’d finally moved the satellite systems to a completely separate network the week before. He hammered the button again, mentally willing Blackbird to hurry.

* * *

M’Jenta was furious. Not only had the kid, though come to think of it she wasn’t sure exactly how old he was, managed to escape her, but he had frozen her. It hadn’t been a comfortable experience. Only when she regained consciousness had she managed to shift into energy form and escape. She was now tracking him, though it wasn’t an easy process. He was flying far enough ahead of her that she could barely see him. When he finally disappeared she tried to go faster, no longer worried that he would spot her, but she realized a moment later that she needn’t have worried.

He had disappeared into a door in the side of a massive boulder. Strips of camouflage netting and electrical wiring hung in tatters from where he had forced his way through. She paused to shift and examine the entrance carefully. It looked as though it had been built to withstand a nuclear bombardment, but though she could see several apparently automatic devices surrounding the door none were operational. With a shrug she shifted back and glided through the entrance. She might not understand why her quarry had rushed into an abandoned bunker but she wasn’t about to retreat, not when she was this close.

The only warning she had was a far off voice shouting “fire!” She blacked out seconds after hearing that one word as a feeling of intense cold descended throughout her entire body, worse even than when the liquid nitrogen had exploded over her.

* * *

Little grey men, probes, bright lights. Her dreams were filled with all of the traditional memories of a UFO abduction and worse, much worse. The only things that repeated were three words that she heard again and again. The Flying Squirrel. She couldn’t make sense of anything beyond those three words and she clung to them with as intense a grip as her mind could manage.

With a start Marcia sat bolt upright in her bed. She was covered with sweat and her heartbeat was racing. It was all a dream. But no, it couldn’t have been a dream. She remembered going to Twin Peaks. She remembered the figures in the field and following one of them to the bunker. After that she remembered nothing, nothing… But wait, there was something. She remembered “The Flying Squirrel.” The budding villain growled in anger. He must have been the one to lure her into that trap. She would still struggle against Darth Onion but this Flying Squirrel, he would command most of her attention from now on. She couldn’t let anyone humiliate her like that. She had to have revenge.

* * *

“What did you do?” Damien almost screamed.

“Calm down,” Rubber Snake cautioned the young man. “We saw her coming after you so we laid a trap. She looked like a fireball so we figured that something extremely cold would stop her.”

“No, I understand that. I’m talking about all the experiments you ran. You kept repeating the name I gave you—and then you let her go!”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet kid? You’re a superhero—and ‘The Flying Squirrel’ isn’t a bad name. But what does every superhero need? Besides kryptonite, besides your Achilles Heel, every superhero needs a villain. Now this Magenta woman is your nemesis.”

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